Where Do We Go From Here?
A Saint Patrick parishioner tries to comprehend the latest developments in the priest abuse scandal.
I sat in my pew and my knees went numb. I could not believe what I was hearing. A priest who gave me better advice than any psychologist I ever went to was one of the “Philly 21.”
On a clear, crisp March Sunday I walked down the steps of St. Pat’s in Malvern, my 11-year-old on one arm, my 5-year-old on my other. I navigated them through a small crowd gathering around the bottom of the steps. Two parents from the group SNAP stood passing out flyers of information about the Catholic Church sex crimes, and my 11-year-old catching wind of the whole situation. I walked, my head down, my head in a fog—what a hard time to be a Catholic.
On April 9 my 11-year-old makes his Confirmation. How can I even think about him getting confirmed into a church that has done this to innocent children? And the bigger question looms: How do I explain this to him? My Aspergery child will certainly want an intellectual, scientific explanation with justice prevailing. And, yet, I have nothing intelligent to explain about how this could possibly happen. I have no scientific definitions that could connect to him the way he understands. And justice prevailing? Well, that certainly remains to be seen, but of course is every decent human’s greatest hope.
My 11-year old and I just had the "sex talk" and the "gay talk." Better he hear it from me than someone else. And now I have to explain priests being pedophiles. And how a pedophile can prey on the same sex or the opposite sex. So yes, a pedophile can also be gay if the pedophile is a man abusing a boy. But! Being gay does not mean you are a pedophile! Don’t mix the two together. Being gay is not a crime. Being a pedophile is. The church has it all—just like regular society has it all—gay priests, pedophiles and gay pedophiles. It is not immune to criminal behavior.
The problem I have is that there seems to be no accountability, no consequences for priests committing crime and they are allowed to practice being a priest and have access to the people they are harming.
A Philadelphia Inquirer article on March 13 reports Rev. Avery was able to still have access to children after committing his sex crime. The place he was “rehabbed” is St. John Vianny in Downingtown. That place is directly across the street from Bishop Shannahan High School. Are the sex offenders at Vianny locked in? Can they come and go as they please? Can they run across the street, get their “fix” and return to Vianny for a quick confession and then celebrate Mass with their brotherhood of other offenders? What checks and balances are there at Vianny? Do the parents at Shannahan know that Vianny’s sign may say “retreat house” but it is a retreat house for sex offending priests? And once the priest is “rehabbed” are they checked up on with follow up care?
When a lay person is a sex offender, their name is registered on a list and people in the neighborhood have access to that information. It should be the same for priests. Keep it simple: You abuse a child, you go to jail, you are stripped of your priest title, the church denounces you, you get out of jail, you get on the same list as a non-clergy person so society is warned. But should a sex offender even be allowed to enter back into society? Can they really be rehabbed? Should they live a life in a mental facility (of like kind) and be under constant surveillance? These are questions for physiologists to answer, and law enforcement officials, not the church, to decide.
A psychologist will tell a person with a drug addiction problem that to help stay sober, you stay away from tempting environments. You don’t go to bars; you don’t go to parties where you know there will be drugs or alcohol. And with a sex offending priest it is well documented in Avery’s case that he should not be around children, and yet after rehab, he was allowed full access to children where he then abused altar boys after Mass.
And what if we dig deeper? Is the vow of celibacy unrealistic? Is the Catholic Church an attractive vocation for a guilt-ridden man who has pedophilia thoughts (maybe has not even acted on them but has these thoughts in his head)? Does this man think through strong faith he can overcome these thoughts? Does this man feel that if he commits a sex crime act he can simply ask for forgiveness through the Sacrament of Reconciliation and then be protected in pure secrecy and also receive no legal or moral consequences?
The only time a priest’s vows permit him to cooperate with legal authorities is in the case of a murder investigation. Shouldn’t it be the same in the case of child molesting or any crime? Why only murder? A person who is murdered is dead. A child who is molested has a dead soul. They will walk through life never forgetting this atrocity, recovery takes decades and I would argue can they ever really truly “recover”?
Perhaps it is time the Church reexamine the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Perhaps it is time it also examines the vow of celibacy. The Church complains there is a shortage of priests. Wouldn’t it be better to have a lay person or a priest who could marry help run the church than a priest who is a pedophile? Would it be a good idea to do a physiological evaluation on every person trying to enter the priesthood? And that psychologist would be an impartial person with services paid for by the state government, not someone paid by the church.
What checks and balances are there within the church once a problem is identified? Clearly almost none. Should there be surveillance cameras in the schools and churches similar to the cameras at a public school? Should there be a law like in medical care that a male OBGYN cannot be in a room alone with a patient? Wouldn’t it be a good idea to implement a rule stating any child must always be in the presence of another adult person if they are with a priest? Simple things like two Eucharistic ministers accompanying altar servers in the sanctuary so they are never alone with a priest, etc.
Sex offenders are mentally ill. The Sacrament of Reconciliation forgives every sin with no legal consequence and then protects that sin as a secret. Offenders have opportunities to be alone with minors all the time. The church finds out about a problem and sweeps it under the rug, then opens its hefty wallet to enter into legal settlements or pay hush money to families. I stopped giving to the church collection basket- who knows where my donation goes? To help a homeless person or to help a lawyer’s bill for representing a sex offending priest.
John Edwards, Bill Clinton, Elliot Switzer. These men were publically raked over the coals for their sexual antics. They may have lied to the public. They may have lied to their families. But they were not pedophiles. They had consensual sexual relations with an adult. But here’s the similarity: These men thought they were invincible. That they could engage in this behavior because they were so powerful, so wealthy, so connected with the right people that they would never get caught. And this is the heart of the issue with the Church: Offenders feel they are invincible. And their higher ups that covered up the crimes also feel they are invincible. In fact one could argue the bishops and cardinals that shuffled sex offenders from one parish to another while knowing about the crimes and not doing anything about that, that they are even more at fault. They are not mentally ill. Sex offenders are mentally ill. With money comes power—and the Church has plenty of both.
After I explained everything to my 11-year-old, I thought of my 5-year-old daughter. Clearly, too young to know the details but she knows how no one is to ever touch her privates or vice versa. I am suppose to register her next week for CCD classes. I know the teachers are volunteer moms, but what safety should I really feel about a priest who could pop in or out of the class, meet her in a hallway while coming back from the bathroom? Guess what? Decision made—I will home school her for Communion classes. I have no trust anymore. I will take them to church holding their hands and leave, holding their hands. And the whole time I am in church I will wonder about the priest saying Mass. Did he ever engage in pedophilia behavior? Did he ever know or hear about sex crimes and never reported them to legal authorities? There will be no altar boying, choir singing, CCDing, nothing—unless I am personally in the room at all times. It is sad it has come to this.
The Catholic Faith with its fundamental beliefs of Jesus is our Savior is a beautiful life message but the Faith is different from the Church. And it is the Church that is in grave need of reform. To all Catholic Church leaders—we need more than an apology. We need more than help for the victims. We need a revolution. Rome crashed due to greed, power, money and sinful ways. The Catholic Church could very well be the next Rome.
Groups to know about and support include:
Wanna start a revolution? Contact: maureenrmartinez@gmail.com
Maureen Martinez lives in Malvern.
j. wind
7:37 am on Sunday, March 27, 2011
You did it, you put down in words so many feelings that I have regarding the Catholic Church. I can not walk into my church, I am too angry with the Church. I am sorry that you had to explain to your children why the Archdiocese Of Philadelphia is going to court next month. My church was Immaculate Conception of Philadelphia, we had seven priest who’s name appeared in two of the Grand Jury Reports and/or Bishop Accountably. People in my parish were lied to by the Church regarding 5 of the 7 priest. We were told that these 5 priest were being “rehab” for substance abuse. Not for sexually abusing children. Our school children were attending St. Michaels, so it appeared on paper that there were no school children at my church. However, my children made all their Sacraments and Church Obligations at Immaculate Conception Church while there were 5 priests being “rehabbed”. I know of young people who would volunteer at the Church to help with church/rectory cleaning type of work during the time of the “rehabbing” priest. Two of my sons were married by a priest who name is listed in the last Grand Jury Report. We can Photoshop the priest out of the wedding photo’s but how do you Photoshop your memories? Where do we go from here?
Judy Block-Jones
8:11 pm on Sunday, March 27, 2011
I was married by the priest who sexually abused by little brother, ... I did not know this at the time I had my perfect catholic wedding..
I have a picture of this priest sitting at the head of our table at our reception... laughing with my mom..
I hate that picture..
I understand the pain...Judy Jones
unabletotrust
8:21 am on Sunday, March 27, 2011
I would like you to remember and think about the Victims of Abuse did not SURVIVE and try and place yourself in the shoes of Parents who have lost a child, how would you like to live in a world with this Grief Everyday ? The time is long past overdue for the PENNSYLVANIA LEGISLATURE TO ACT . The VICTIMS who did survive and are out there need a chance to be able to come forward before it is too late.
Arie
10:42 am on Sunday, March 27, 2011
This article sums up everything I have been feeling about the Catholic church for the last ten years. How could we condone God and child molestation on the very same altar? It is unconscionable that a bishop, an archbishop, the VATICAN(!) could allow this to continue with even a handful of priests, let alone thousands. Thank you to the person who wrote this; for while the seven priests are -finally- being brought to justice, the Vatican's lack of empathy, for their own followers, will continue for lifetimes.
nolongeracatholic
10:47 am on Sunday, March 27, 2011
It's just disgusting. What would Jesus do? He sure as hell wouldn't be a Catholic!
Maureen Martinez
11:15 am on Sunday, March 27, 2011
Thanks everyone keep
The comments coming
I seek comments now
On where do we go?
Shop out another religion? Stop going to catholic church? Forget organized religion in general and do jesus work of feeding the poor? Spend a sunday at a soup kitchen instead?
Maureen martinez
Abuse Survivor
4:05 pm on Sunday, March 27, 2011
Where to go? Looking at the beutiful response of the Japanese people to the devastation in their country, I believe Buddhism is much more valuable to me today as an Abuse Survivor. I have finally thrown out the notion of sin and the need for confession. I live each day to seek what is best for myself and all others. I seek enlightenment of the present moment in helping and healing myself and others; as well as in serene meditation. I no longer have need of the catholic cult and fantasty. I, and my now grown children, have each chosen this path independently of me. Although I did bring them up as catholics, I have always stressed that they question everything they are taught and make up their own mind. So now I don't worry that the catholic church is crumbling. Jesus gave us some of the best teachings in history. One his his best was about it being better for your eternal soul to be poor and holy than to be rich and corrupt. Finally more and more catholics are seeing the church leaders have consistently veered from this sacred gospel throughout history.
Richard Ferry
1:11 am on Friday, April 1, 2011
Maureen- I am sorry you are suffering. The thoughtfulness of your article is heroic. When very young, I was proud to be a Catholic, loved the grandeur of the rituals, the 2000 years of history. I was never molested, but I was slapped around, bullied, humiliated, shamed by Irish Franciscan nuns and Christian Brothers who cared more for power than for empathy. I gave up when I was 20. I think I live a moral life; I try in small ways to make the world a better place, to see God in "the other", to "do unto my least brethren" the best I can. There are many paths to lead a good life. Be gentle with yourself.
maryellen colman
12:15 pm on Sunday, March 27, 2011
I am 60 yrs. old. a lifelong "good" catholic. My husband, kids & I all attended Catholic schools in the area. We have nuns & priests in our family. I have a nephew(now in his 40's) Who had a flashback in recent years about his abuse at the hand s of a priest.I muddled ahead & kept telling myself "It's not Jesus who is committing these atrocities". I tried to maintain my "Catholic" faith & duties. As of Mar. 17th( last week),I have taken a break from the Catolic religion.Would Jesus want this abuse for his dear innocent children? My young adult children have no interest in going foward with the church as it is, now.
Thank You, Maureen for your comments. I had no one to discuss this with. I am so sad for so many reasons.
The church is not above the law. They should not be allowed to govern themselves, especially after all th evidence of abuse. I fear we have just scratched the surface. If we all boycotted th e church collections onthe same sunday , we would be sending the church a message. Hit them where they would feel it most. In the pocketbook. This would affect our parrish schools for aqwhile. They seem to close schools to gather funds for their legal bills .But, in the long run,(if there is a future for the church as things stand),Maybe we could start the schools up again ,If & when things get reorganized.Supply & DEmand.Jesus will show us the way. He has to! In the meantime, I remain sad, angry but hopeful. Thanks again.
PissedOffNoLongerCatholic
12:19 pm on Sunday, March 27, 2011
Please give the reference for "The only time a priest’s vows permit him to cooperate with legal authorities is in the case of a murder investigation. " I know you are on to something.
This definitely should be an excemption to the famous ' seal of confession'.
When I google ' priest penitent privilege' I get :
The sacramental seal is inviolable. Quoting Canon 983.1 of the Code of Canon Law, the Catechism states, "It is a crime for a confessor in any way to betray a penitent by word or in any other manner or for any reason"
A Decree from the Holy Office (Nov. 18, 1682) mandated that confessors are forbidden, even where there would be no revelation direct or indirect, to make any use of the knowledge obtained in the confession that would "displease" the penitent or reveal his identity.
Displease ? SNAP will tell you about 'Displease' !
Plus articles wind up with a 'A beautiful, yet embellished, warm fuzzy story that belings in a second grade Bible History book in which St. John Nepomucene (1340-93) was martyred protecting the seal of confession. This fable, however, does not contain any references to abused children.
to protect and serve the flock?
3:05 pm on Sunday, March 27, 2011
^to the poster above^
I was wondering the same questions, and had recently been googling for info. Below is something I found that absolutely floored me-
According to this (http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/13649b.htm) article in the Catholic Encyclopedia, an understanding of the Seal of the Confessional is found in Gratian's Decretum from the 12th century. As to whether the seal has been challenged, the answer is yes, BUT it has never been revised within the actual church.
I found a modern example of challenges to the Seal (http://www.cathnews.com/news/302/134.php): A proposal in the Maryland legislature requiring anyone, including priests, to report suspected child abuse, even if that information was received during confession.
In response to this proposal, Cardinal McCarrick of Washington said: "If this bill were to pass, I shall instruct all priests in the Archdiocese of Washington who serve in Maryland to ignore it'."
Wow. To undermine the sanctity of a child's heart and mind for the sake of upholding an antiquated social hierachy is just unbelievable! I mean we're not talking about the law being the strongarm of some corrupt feudal lord anymore. The law is here to protect and serve its people. And he Catholic Church should, at the very least, do the SAME THING!
Thank you Maureen, the writer of this article, for raising so many important questions, and helping create a space for this important dialogue.
Maureen Martinez
10:05 pm on Sunday, March 27, 2011
I am very intrigued by the research online you have found to back up what is fundamentally at the very root of this issue. How in the world can we change a church law? We are lay people-- what can we do? COmments, advice -- anyone
ann wallace
3:50 pm on Sunday, March 27, 2011
Since Ash Wednesday and the news about peter talocci, I also have been in shock. You have put into words the feelings of many Catholics. .
Thank you Maureen, maybe it is time for a revolution.
PissedOffNoLongerCatholic
5:31 pm on Sunday, March 27, 2011
First - Keep up the good work Maureen !
If priests can’t break their unholy seal of confession vow and reveal molesters, Here’s an angle that might work:
There are some offenses so heinous that a special dispensation from the Pope himself is needed for absolution.
It is a lopsided list includes attempting to assassinate the Pope, but genocide is not mentioned .
Apparently hurt one man, and you are excommunicated, but wipe out a nation, and Three Hail Mary’s and you are good to go ? ? ?
Abortion is on the list, but killing the souls and spirit by abusing children did not make the cut.
How can lowly LAY people demand child abuse is added to this list ? Will it take a miracle ?
Pope John Paul II is up for beatification in spite of turning a blind eye, and he dies in 2005. Disgraced ex-Boston Cardinal Bernard Law now has an important job in Rome. Insisting on severe penalty for child molesters would be a small miracle. WWJD ?
As I google, I found the phrase ‘excommunicated latae sententia’ People who join Freemasons and other secret societies that do good, but wear funny hats ( but not miters) are excommunicated.
What Would Jesus Do ? First ask you to get up off your knees.
Maureen Martinez
6:28 pm on Sunday, March 27, 2011
Whoever is interested in helping organize a march or peaceful protest-- LMK!
Any other ideas? I see from comments it is not just ME feeling this way. Suggestions on how to get the word out? Many of you emailing me privately indicating us lay people people need to do something- we need to act. Suggestions, ideas--LMK
Maureen
Judy Block-Jones
7:51 pm on Sunday, March 27, 2011
Where do we go from here? I go out and sit on my front porch, where I can have some peace and know that I do not need to go to a church to find happiness or faith that I will be ok.
Thank you Maureen for writing this excellent article, and you questions are so right on and so valid.
I answers (which so many of us who work with victims and trying to expose the truth, and therefore protect kids) are this.
We need to get rid of the "statute of limitations on sex crimes against innocent kids". This is the only way to get this abuse and the cover up of these crimes stopped. The reason you don't see predator priests names of sex offender lists, is because most have never spent a day in jail.
When it comes to being sexually abused by a person who represents themselves as god almighty, you can understand WHY it takes years for victims to get themselves together enough to even speak of it. and besides,, WHO WERE THEY TO TELL? No one would believe them.
Even today loyal catholics do not want to believe that a priest, bishop, brother, nun, etc could possibly sexually abuse a child.
For heaven's sake, we did not even think of them as being sexual.!!
The church officials have fooled us for centuries. This is how so many predator priests have gotyen away with sexually abusing thousands, and thousands of innocent kids.
Who knows why.. there is no one answer to how or why this happened, except maybe for one... Men did not want to lose their power..
Judy Block-Jones
7:52 pm on Sunday, March 27, 2011
continued:
So now... what to do?
Work hard to get the laws changed, and the statute of limitations removed so that all victims can have their day in court, no matter how long ago their abuse happened. Expose the truth, and then lies will collapse.
When child predators and those who enabled, empowered, and covered up their crimes are held accountable, only then will kids be safe.
btw, I had several family members who were sexually abused by our long time parish priest. I did not send my children to catholic school, and they turned how GREAT...
Judy Jones, SNAP Midwest Associate Director, 636-433-2511
snapjudy@gmail.com
"Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests"
http://www.snapnetwork.org/
Maureen Martinez
3:01 pm on Monday, March 28, 2011
For those of you not aware of the following and would like to go:
Please join the House of Grace Catholic Worker Community for an important presentation and round table discussion with Barbara Blaine, President of The Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests -SNAP. Barbara will share with us her personal journey and the work of SNAP.
Monday, March 28, 2011
7:30 PM - 9:00PM
Kassie Temple House
1824 E. Lehigh Ave.
Phila., Pa. 19125
for directions or more info: # 215-426-0364
Maureen Martinez
3:03 pm on Monday, March 28, 2011
On your broswer type in 'Google Alerts'. On that page a box will appear where you type in the alert subject. Type in 'priest abuse'. Then type in your email.
This will give you current newspaper articles on the church every morning along with your other email. This will allow us to be informed on church issues.
I would like to see a Laity Bill of Rights emerge.
Everyone that joins the group should also do the Google alerts.
Please send this on to those who have shown interest.
Maureen Martinez
3:04 pm on Monday, March 28, 2011
RALLY!!!! Sister Maureen Paul Turlish is organizing a demonstration outside the archdiocesan headquarters on Friday, April 1 at 12 noon. Go if you can!
Judy Block-Jones
1:21 am on Friday, April 1, 2011
Good luck on your rally tomorrow.... I am with you in spirit... Judy
WIRSOL
3:09 pm on Tuesday, March 29, 2011
I am a little appalled at the forgiveness I see here... or should I say the lack there of.
It is NOT a crime to be a pedophile, as it is NOT a crime to be Gay. It IS a crime to sexually assault someone else that is under the age of 18 or if they are over 18 if it is against their will. THAT is the law.
As far as rehab is concerned, it is about re-education. Because all addict are addicts for life, they are not rehabilitated either, they are RE-educated or RE-trained for a different term.
I thought Christianity was about forgiveness and acceptance, yet all I hear in the opinion and comments is CONDEMNATION. Which I thought was only reserved for God to preside over. Thought he was the only one that could pass judgement on anyone? Am I wrong?
Don't forget the countless sex offenders that are just teenagers being TEENAGERS, that because they sent a text or was with their girlfriend or boyfriend that now their life is over and all of you have condemned them as well. Exactly how is someone supposed to move forward? Victims are urged to move forward, look to the future, focus on the positive and essentially get on with gettin' on. Even First Degree Murderers are allowed to move on, get on with their lives, they are allowed to move past their mistakes and try to make a new and better life, yet sex offenders regardless of their crime whether it be against their girlfriend/boyfriend or someone else. are NOT allowed to move on.
Abuse Survivor
6:23 pm on Tuesday, March 29, 2011
This is about JUSTICE not forgiveness!!! I "forgave" my abuser long ago. I "got on with my life" and have wonderful children and a wonderful husband. I am one of the "lucky ones." What cannot be forgiven is crimes that continue today against innocent children because a corrupt, abusive hierarchy refuses to see any problem with what they called "inappropriate touches" by clerics who clearly RAPED children. This is 2011 and the Philly Archdiocese still knowingly hides child predators! Have you actually read the 2005 and the 2011 Grand Jury Reports or did you just beam in from a distant galaxy?
Abuse Survivor
6:10 pm on Wednesday, March 30, 2011
This is about JUSTICE not forgiveness. I forgave" my abuser long ago. I "got on with my life" and have wonderful children and a wonderful husband. I am one of the "lucky ones." What cannot be forgiven is crimes that continue today against innocent children because a corrupt, abusive hierarchy refuses to see any problem with what they called "inappropriate touches" by clerics who clearly RAPED children.
We are not talking about a teenager here who had consensual sex with a girlfriend. We are talking about adult PRIESTS raping innocent children and how to protect our children now and in the future.