Hey Buddy, Can You Spare Some Change?
One of life’s eternal questions popped up in my life last week: “Should you give money to a beggar?”
I don’t have to answer that question often unless I go into Philly or travel to another city. When I’m confronted with someone begging for money, my answer is usually a quick “No.” And I keep on moving.
I don’t like striding past someone who is begging, avoiding eye-contact. Here is a person asking me for help. I could afford to give away a few dollars. But I suspect my money will just go toward drugs or alcohol. And sometimes I’m afraid because the person looks dangerous.
How do you find the balance between compassion and caution, between wanting to help and worrying that you are only making a problem, like addiction, worse or are putting yourself in danger (If I pull out my wallet will I be robbed)?
I’m thinking about this because last week my son texted me that he had given money to a beggar and later regretted it. As he said, “Afterwards, I realized she’s probably not going to use it for what she said she would.”
He’s a compassionate soul, and this isn’t the first time this has happened to him. I want him to retain that compassion, but I also want him to be wise about money and to stay safe.
Being a modern parent, I searched the Internet for help, typing “Should you give money to a beggar or homeless person?” into Google’s search box. (Because, as everyone knows, the Internet is the source of all wisdom.) I had hoped to find answers from organizations that work with the homeless or provide services to the poor, but at first all I came up with were links to Yahoo Answers (the armpit of web answer sites).
Finally, I found three articles that approached the subject with intelligence:
From The Atlantic: “The short answer is no. The long answer is yes, but only if you work for an organization that can ensure the money is spent wisely.”
From The University of Oxford: Practical Ethics Blog: “ If you give money to beggars, you almost certainly spend your welfare budget helping the wrong people.”
And, finally, from a woman who used to be homeless, came this admonition: “If you are struggling with the question of whether to give money to a homeless person because you’re worried they will spend it on drugs … then don’t give. It is as simple as that. No one has forced you to give money, but if you do decide to give you have no right to judge.”
My son has to decide for himself what he’ll do the next time a beggar approaches him.
If he lived in Ottawa, he could put his money in a Kindness Meter, but I have hard time imagining those popping up on the streets of Philadelphia.
What do you think? What do you do when a stranger begs you for money?
Larry
11:07 am on Tuesday, January 29, 2013
I want to know where my money is going so I will just buy a pint of vodka and give it to him.
Joe
12:21 pm on Tuesday, January 29, 2013
I give them money all the time. Never more than a dollar or two, usually just the change in my pocket that would later fall out in the train, car, or couch anyway. While I'm not so naive to believe that they're all using the money to buy food, there is also no doubt in my mind that at least some use the money I give them to eat. In my book, it's not leaving me broke and if just the one guy buys a sandwich, I'm good. I also believe that if I saved up all that change and perhaps donated to a "program" every month, enough of it would get caught up in their costs that it's just not worth the time or effort relative to just handing some out. But yes, if you're so cynical that you believe every homeless person is begging because they're some kind of addict and therefore every beggar is going to use your loose change to buy their favorite poison, then you are indeed better off not making eye contact and just walking on by. You'll forget about them in a few seconds.
Rick Kephart
8:14 am on Wednesday, January 30, 2013
I always give money to beggars. I believe the Bible is perfectly clear on whether or not a person should help people who need help. So I figure if you give money to someone asking for help, then you've done your duty. What that person then does with that money is his responsibility before God, not yours.
If a beggar is not truly in need, then you don't have a responsibility to help him. But if he really did need your help, and you mistakenly thought he didn't and refused to help him, then you're in trouble! It's not worth the risk to take such a chance on accurately predicting what the person will do with the money you give him.
Earnest
7:18 pm on Wednesday, January 30, 2013
I think that compassionate people know deep down in their hearts that a person who is "begging" is in some kind of trouble, which is why it troubles our conscious. Are they the mentally ill that we no longer take care of like we use to in our states? Are they fighting the disease of addiction and have not hit rock bottom? Will they survive their rock bottom? Are they a runaway that has gotten caught up with one of the modern day Fagin's who send kids out to beg like those who have been sent out to "sell magazines" that never arrives at the buyers mail box?
It really is a crap shoot, but I would suggest something that a grandparent told me they did during the depression when approached by a "beggar" they walked to the nearest diner and bought the man a meal. I guess that is something we could choose to do and if were a little afraid, maybe get a take-out at a close by place and take it to the "beggar". At least we would know that the money was well spent. Of course time and schedules in todays fast pace world may get in the way of doing something like that.
On the other hand, did anyone else see the documentary the guy made about how he became a millionaire by going across the country panhandling for a year?
Joe
12:29 pm on Thursday, January 31, 2013
You're thinking of the guy (some comedian) who was already a millionaire but panhandled everyday in New York (he gave it to charity). Think about the pure logistics of it, no one is going to "become" a millionaire panhandling.
Geoeray
12:04 pm on Saturday, February 2, 2013
When I was working on North Broad at Temple one of the local guys pointed out "baby sitter guy" Some dude in crappy clothes and a rope for a belt would go down the subway every morning about the same time with a 2 or 3 kids. They weren't his. He would pick them up in the morning panhandle in the subway as if they were his kids. Then they told me about multiple "fire guys" if a house burnt down, they would go door to door asking for help for themselves and their burnt out family. They never lived there. Con men. The locals said they would get people believing their story to the point of crying and they would get some suckers money. Then I met "gas station guy" at the gas station on Broad right off of the boulevard. I pull in to get gas "Can I help you sir?" I said, isn't this self serve? "Well yeah but I was hoping you would give me a couple of bucks", not. 2 nights later a couple was shot and killed at the same pump. Then there was "look out guy" I pull into a parking spot at Broad and Diamond a guy walks up and introduces himself as "Lookout guy". I said what the are you talking about. "Well for a couple of bucks I'll make sure your car isn't broken into." . What a town. The locals thought it was funny. "First time on North Broad?" they would ask. Center city office workers take collections for their chosen panhandler. Unfortunately some are scammers and some are really down and out. Some of them are veterans who we once called heros.
Nabob
12:14 pm on Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Whenever some bum asks - "Spare change?" - I always says, "no thanks, I already have some."
Regina DiLabbio Klugh King
8:59 am on Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Remember, we just might be visited by angels unaware . . . I have "tipped" (even if admiinistration frowned upon it) aides in nursing homes whom I've observed being especially kind to the residents; total strangers in malls accompanying special needs patients on a shopping spree/day away from the institution; people in front of or behind me in line at the WaWa or supermarket if they appear to be in need (nuns are my favorite targets -- the closer I get to the Pearly Gates the more prayers/ references I need to get in). I pick up pennies in parking lots that I am certain my Mom is sending me from Heaven, collect them in a jar, and cash them in once a year to send off to the local SPCA or favorite charity du jour. One less pizza under my belt will never hurt me! Guess I'm a give 'til it hurts kind of gal!
Regina Fried
9:33 am on Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Hi Regina -- The truth is that I do sometimes give to people who ask for money. I wrote the post because I don't have a hard and fast rule. And when I don't give, I feel guilty about not giving. I have approached someone sitting on the street with a sign asking for donations and given them money. I have given money when someone approaches me. I think it must be very difficult for an individual to approach another person and ask for help.